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Mystery Business

Once again, I blog with no real goal in mind.

OzoneBaby is a really sad baby. If it was a real baby, it would probably be that little Marasmus-child in the corner that no one really takes any notice of, except for the rare occssions when you look towards the given corner and you see a little rag-like creature that looks like a rug but moves quite unlike one. Not to say that Ozonebaby is malnutritioned, of course. It is quite a healthy Ozonebaby.

I have a(nother) debate tomorrow. It is a wonder how I manage to hold normal conversations without cross-examining everyone else.

Whatever.

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May 16, 2008 at 7:00 pm 2 comments

This is Why We Must Go To School

Now, there are many reasons people go to school. Here are a few conversations and excerpts to show you why I wake up on school days and consider all sides of the situation before going  not going.

Situation One: (Bio class, during a debate regarding the hermaphrodite nature of some fungus)

Dr.D:<Insert Biological Item> is bisexual, who has any doubts about that.

Enterprising Soul : But, no, I don’t know…

Dr.D: *Rolls eyes* Look at it this way, humans are – are you bisexual?

Enterprising Soul: *emphatically* Yes! *doubletake* No! *pause* I’m confused.

(Rest of the class ROTFLs, while slowly edging away from the shifty looking Enterprising Soul)

Situation Two: Random free class, Sreeja and Aditi are doing Math, and trying to solve some sum.

Sreeja: <Math explanation>

Aditi: Arre, NO! <Contradictory Math explanation>

Me: *looks at sum* *flails hand over sheet* Add One. Just, Add One. *turns away*

And now, my favourite situation. It happens 4 days a week.

Cantakerous Language Lady : (translated for the benefit of the reader)

I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO NEXT YEAR – HANG ME UPSIDE DOWN FROM THE OVERHEAD FAN, SPIN ME AROUND, SPIT ON ME AND THROW STONES AT ME AND ASK ME DANCE; DANCE, WOMAN, DANCE! WELL, NOW I KNOW, AND SO I’M GOING TO GET MY HUSBAND TO WORK WITH ME FOR PROTECTION AGAINST YOU THUGS!!

And so, this is why I go to school. This, and the food.

March 24, 2008 at 10:12 am 12 comments

Dear FoxyMopHandleMama, its just the Eagerness to Remain Uneducated

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m all for literacy. What I am talking of is every student’s urge to periodically, systematically and regularly throw their books across the wall into a burning shredder, under a mule’s trampling feet and over the moon. Or something like it.

And this happened to be the weekend I was actually looking forward to, but all the motivation just… fizzled… out. Instead of studying mutations (which normally gets me all hyper), I was listening to Hey Foxymophandlemama, That’s Me by Pearl Jam. Which, by the way, is a really scary song from the album Vitalogy, and its 7 minutes long, interspersed with real excerpts of conversations that band members held with people at some mental hospital. (Why, I don’t know. But the song is Ee-rie.)

Anyway, back to my point. Wait, what WAS my point? *scrolls back up and checks*.

Oh yeah, I was yet to MAKE a point. Was I? *goes back up and checks again.*

You know that song, Hey Foxymophandlemama, That’s Me, by Pearl Jam? There’s this mental kid who keeps repeating “Ice-Cream. That’s the only thing I want so much.” That kid will singlehandedly be responsible for me shying away from a Bikimax. Well, no, not really, nothing tears me away from Bikimaxes, but if something WAS to tear me away from Bikimaxes, it would be the mental kid.

Do kids at mental hospitals get ice-cream? I hope they do, they do, right? *is all worried.* But if they DON’T get ice-cream, maybe that’s WHY they’re mental!

Are you still reading this?

What about now?

And now?

Wow, you’re really bored. Like me. Which ain’t possible.

Go listen to Foxymophandlemama, or go eat ice-cream.

I’m busting this joint.

February 29, 2008 at 12:02 pm 2 comments


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